Vows
by Darkhymns
Summary: Back on their interrupted journey for Exspheres, Lloyd and Colette discuss the possibility of marriage. It is not an easy subject. [Lloyd/Colette]


**Takes place after Dawn of the New World.**

* * *

Both stood quite a distance away as the bells rang. Lloyd had assumed it was the signal for dinner hours, considering how far the sun had set, but then Colette had pointed far to their right, to the sole church still standing in the town.

It was a small, humble building, but its existence spoke of struggle. The Tethe'alla Churches had not reached far enough here, deep in the more rural countryside of Sylvarant. And though it was only a matter of time before this place, too, would be swallowed up the advanced nation - if not by a lack of faith first - the animated crowds before its double-doors suggested that its presence with the residents was still very much needed. A young girl was strewing flower petals through the air, grabbing fistfuls of white to throw above her. Elders softly clapped their hands, surrounding the open doors, nearly not letting anyone pass through them.

Eventually, they relented. A couple, their faces flushed, laughing as they held hands, walked by the crowd. Their steps matched the gaiety of the bells that continued ringing above them, loudly proclaiming to the town and beyond of the event. Their happiness was apparent, reaching out to the other buildings, to the plains, to the outskirts that ringed around their small village, so small that it barely made a mark in most maps.

Colette felt a tug on her hand. She turned. "Hey, we should probably hurry before it gets too dark," Lloyd suggested.

"Okay," she said, immediately following after him. The bells rung in the cadence of their steps, no matter how quickly or how steadily they paced themselves.

* * *

Even in as small a town as this, they weren't allowed near. The suspicions between the two united worlds still hadn't lessened, making people rightly wary, only trusting those within their borders instead of without. And though they were lucky that these villagers hadn't heard the unfortunate rumors of the Blood Purge, Lloyd's Exsphere brought whispers, these artifacts of a time that were fast becoming outlawed. Colette was also unsure whether revealing herself as a former Chosen would help matters or just make them worse, considering some people regarded her mere existence as a failure of their destined prosperity.

So once again unable to get a room at the local inn, they both made their camp far outside the village gates, seating themselves on a tall hill that overlooked the horizon. It presented them a wide vista of the plains they would travel down tomorrow, as well as the sleepy village that still kept ringing its bells happily, unheeding of the setting sun.

Before bedtime, they sat next to each other on the soft grass, their campfire dying down. Lloyd had his head craned upwards to stare at the darkening sky, with Colette's gaze directed back to that small village.

"Colette," Lloyd said softly, broaching a subject they had already discussed a few times before. "You don't want something like that?"

Instantly, she knew what he meant. And instantly, the same answer popped into her head. "I'm not sure." She turned to him. "How do we arrange a wedding?"

Lloyd looked thoughtful, keeping his eyes above as if the stars might have an answer. He sighed. "We'd probably need to ask Professor Sage." Then he frowned. "No, Sheena maybe. The Professor would just have us married at some musty rocks place."

"That doesn't sound so bad," Colette said sincerely. "It'd be pretty different! Like if we had it at the Balacruf place? Though I think a Mizuho wedding sounds neat, too!" Despite that she didn't know just what exact wedding traditions that Sheena's people practiced, she was sure it was interesting all the same.

Lloyd looked back at her. His arms were draped across his bent knees, reminiscent of when they would have these nighttime chats back in Iselia, when Sylvarant was all they knew.

"You wouldn't want to get married in a church?"

It was the first time he had asked that of her. Certainly a lifetime of priests and Martel's teachings would incline her to follow a similar path for a wedding. Instead, she shrugged. "I haven't really thought about it much."

She didn't say that the Church had taught her how to die first before anything else. Or that with all she had learned from the priests, from her grandmother, none had taught her the meaning of joining with another. Why bother when her life was already forfeit?

Lloyd understood immediately, seeing straight through her feeble lie. He took her hand, held it fast in his grip. "Sorry. That was really stupid to ask."

"No, Lloyd. It's okay," she reassured. But she could already see the boy blaming himself, even as he gave a small smile at her words. He did that a lot recently, sometimes going quiet as he seemed to look at nothing in particular.

Martel's mission had left its mark plenty on him.

Knowing that no amount of coaxing would get him out, she leaned against his arm, waiting for him patiently. He had mentioned to her, a few days after they resumed their journey together, that during the time he was alone, he forced his mind to go blank. He would push away the promises he broke, bury deep the disappointment of his friends, along with all memories of her. It was the only way he could focus on getting the Cores. The alternative was to drown himself in regret and let all his hard work go to waste. He had not been allowed to doubt himself, nor even allowed to question his path. He had to honor his pact and keep the World Tree alive, no matter the cost.

The result had made him withdrawn, finding the sound of his own voice foreign during the cold nights. He admitted to Colette that those months were indistinguishable from a long, dark dream. It wasn't him traveling by himself, avoiding all he cared about. It was this other invasive presence that took his face, that made him sleep in shadows. So sometimes, he finds that presence there, reminding him once again all the trouble he had caused everyone. _I'm a hypocrite_ , he even once said to her, seemingly out of nowhere, unable to look her in the eye.

Colette gripped his hand, watching him fight through those thoughts. He blinked, turning back to her.

"Maybe someplace outside would be nice," she said, neatly sweeping away the previous silence.

"…You really like the ruins wedding that much?"

"Well, it's probably because we were traveling a lot before," she said, thoughtful, considering her next words. "But I always felt the most happy when I'm outside with you! The churches are nice, but they feel so small in comparison."

Lloyd considered as well, nodding after a moment. "Yeah, I guess so. At least compared to the one in Iselia. I'm not sure I'd want to get married at some old ruin still…"

"Where would you'd like to then?"

"Hm." Lloyd's face cleared from his previous moodiness. She saw the hint of a smile as he came upon his answer. "Maybe someplace by the sea. Then after, we can just go off on a boat and travel all around the world. Without collecting Exspheres this time."

Colette felt her smile stretch. "That sounds fun! So like in Altamira? Regal would probably help us with all the arrangements."

"Oh yeah! We could go on the rides and have a huge buffet and everything!" Lloyd nearly leapt to his feet, excited at the prospect of an amusement-park wedding. Then he blinked. "Uh, you don't think he'd expect us to pay for it all, do you?"

"I don't know. But I'd think he'd want to provide it himself. Regal's nice like that!"

Lloyd grinned. "Yeah, you're right!"

Then Colette decided to be teasing. "You'd have to break the news to Lilia back in Iselia though." She stuck out her tongue at him playfully.

Lloyd did a little take-back, his face flushed in utter embarrassment. "Hey! It- it seemed like a good idea at the time!"

"I know. It's because you're such a kind person!" And he was. Poor Lilia's son had been so down during those first few months after the world's reunification, stricken over the loss of his father. Though Lloyd's proposal to his mother hadn't exactly gone as planned (tomato juices had been stuck in his hair for over a week), it had all worked out in the end.

He tilted his head at her comment. "That's not what the Professor said…" Then he poked her cheek. "And I got the idea from you anyway!"

That was true, too. To be fair, she had only commented how the boy no longer had a father figure in his life. She remembered the idea sparking in Lloyd's eyes then, his careful grasp of her hands, his quick whisper to please not be mad at him for what he felt he needed to do to fix things. Lloyd was so kind, so devoted - but it made him miss the obvious things sometimes.

She poked him back. "I'm not gonna apologize for that though."

Surprised at her answer, Lloyd started to laugh, a rich sound that she had missed hearing so much. She joined in, her own tone melding with his. Once their laughs died down, they simply looked at each other, hands clasped tight, seated underneath a sky that had now turned a shade of familiar black.

"Still," Lloyd resumed, trying to catch the thread of their previous conversation. "Altamira would be pretty cool."

Colette nodded, growing quiet.

Altamira was full of happy memories. Even during their hectic journey, there had been a place to let the cares roll off and simply enjoy the sunshine and the closeness of their friends. To spend the day with everyone again, laying out in the sand or strolling through the park when night fell was certainly something that both would have agreed to instantly.

The only thing that tugged at Colette's mind, however, was the expectation. She could imagine so many eyes staring at her and Lloyd both, waiting for them in anticipation, as many did on such wedding days. It suddenly made her want to pull Lloyd to her and hide, already plagued with nervousness. It was a special thing, this bond with Lloyd right beside her, but to flaunt it to all in the world - why did it make her knees shake?

The hand in hers pulled her near, bringing her head to her shoulder. She felt a small tremble run up through Lloyd's arm, and knew it to be a reflection of that same nervousness too. Certainly, with the way they were both acting, with how they acted whenever they danced upon this subject, they were no more than children, weren't they?

Or maybe if she herself didn't seem so uncertain, then Lloyd would feel more confident. If only she could make herself…

"Actually," he started, laying his chin in her hair, his voice so quiet. "I once thought that maybe we could get married in Palmacosta."

She shut her eyes for a moment. He was better at hiding his pain now, but still she could hear the small hitch in his throat. "We still could," she said, hopeful. "You were pardoned."

Lloyd didn't answer right away. A soft squeeze of her hand, then a small exhale of his breath. "Yeah."

The breeze moved through her hair, fizzling out the campfire behind them with a hiss. She looked up to see how the stars winked into existence. "Why don't we go to sleep?"

Another quiet moment, and then, reluctantly, Lloyd moved back to give himself room to stand. "Sure."

Gathering the thick blanket from their packs, they laid themselves out on the soft grass, curled up near each other to keep in the warmth. Colette only removed her overcoat, while Lloyd simply unbuttoned his jacket so that he could move more freely in his sleep. The breeze had turned chilly, and so with most of their traveling clothes on, they cuddled with the other, the vista of the night sky before them. Lloyd placed his arm around her to keep near, then shut his eyes, his breathing becoming even.

Though sleepiness threatened to take over, (and never had she ever been so grateful than to finally sleep normally once more) she kept her eyes open, looking at Lloyd. The moonlight landed on his face, brightening his dark hair, evoking that strange, wonderful warmth in her chest.

Colette wished that she would go to sleep, and upon waking, it would be done. That she would turn to Lloyd in the dawn and realize instantly that they were married, just like that. None of the jitters, none of the heavy expectations of such an important day, and none of the self-consciousness of so many eyes on them both, no matter how friendly such eyes were. As easy as the passing of day to night, with the presence of his hand in her's. Certainly something like this, right now, was enough for them both to be considered…well, official.

Was it the public spectacle of it that had her nervous? Or the sound of those bells that she had heard all her life, signaling Martel's blessings? The priests would tell her of the goddess' love, and after meeting the spirit herself, after hearing her within, she couldn't deny that, even if Martel was not the same divine being as those churches once taught. And love is always to be celebrated, especially among family and friends. It sounded like a good thing, didn't it?

As she laid beside Lloyd, curled up near his chest, his arm draped over her shoulder, she thought, _Then why this hesitation?_

A wedding was a very public thing, and so much of her life had been put on display like that. From her first day on this world, to each and every birthday afterwards, a festival that would celebrate each passing year, each year that brought the world closer to salvation. She had grown to hate those, wanting only the close presence of a few, wanting only the words to wish her a happy day. Just the private enclosure, such as when Lloyd told her that on his terrace, apologizing for a late gift. Like all those other moments they had, just them both, talking, whispering, as if they were alone in the world – and that it was okay.

It was selfish, but she had grown so used to such privacy between her and Lloyd. She didn't want to change that now to include more. Not yet, at least.

She looked up to find Lloyd staring at her, tired but awake, the arm around her tightening. She blinked, then smiled in apology for not noticing before.

"Can't sleep," he muttered, his voice barely audible.

This happened more often. Again it was the months of his past solitude catching up to him, leaving him stranded, finding his only comfort in looking up at the mass of stars above. Or with her, when soft words would transform into steady breaths.

Some nights, she couldn't even keep her eyes open long enough to stay with him. But luckily, for right now, that wasn't true. He would not need to be alone.

"Me neither," she told him.

They moved closer.

* * *

 _In the six months that Lloyd was gone, Colette had gone to the World Tree. The memory of that day, of the Great Seed's revival, stayed imprinted within her. With Lloyd, she had looked down to the world below, to that space between the valleys where the tower had once stood, to find the hopeful green light blossom from its place on the earth. The lands had stretched out like a map, its trails carving into her heart so that she could never forget where Martel's abode lay._

 _The seedling had only grown a miniscule amount since she had last seen it, evidence of the many troubles within the world. A sapling, like those she would have besides her home back in Iselia, housed near a ravine where blue waters flowed. Still, its bright leaves showed her that the World Tree was growing stronger, steady in its pace, despite the odds._

 _She floated down on her wings, their pink radiance lighting the ground beneath her feet. Martel was already there, standing before her charge, a staff held firmly in her right hand, expectant. Yuan was there as well, though the half-elf kept his eyes away, wrapped in his dark cloak. He instead looked out over to his left, scanning the thick expanse of other trees._

 _Colette had half-hoped that Lloyd would be here. But she didn't catch any hint of red, and heard no familiar tread._

" _You know where Lloyd is," she stated, now standing only a few feet apart from the summon spirit. Her words had come out more blunt than she meant them to. Nights of staying up alone had dimmed her faculties just slightly._

 _Martel shifted, her smile soft and sad. "Yes," she answered, saying no more._

 _Colette tried not to let her disappointment show, but Lloyd had told her she didn't need to hide her feelings behind a fake smile anymore. "I want to find him."_

 _Martel placed a hand over her own chest, head bowed. At that, the leaves of the World Tree rustled from a sudden breeze, its branches slightly swayed. Colette guessed that she must have been communicating with it, but it was only a guess still._

" _You must have faith in him," Martel finally said, opening her eyes. They were a color of verdant green, of sparkling emerald. Like the lands she swore to protect. "Remember his promise."_

 _Colette shook her head, feeling a little…offended at the insinuation. "I always do. I don't doubt that what he's doing is important. And I know that no matter where Lloyd is, he will always be strong. It's only…"_

 _Something must have broken in her voice, for even Yuan turned around, eyebrow raised as he gazed at the now eighteen year old woman, previous Chosen of a once dying world._

" _I want to stand by his side." There was the threat of tears. She lowered her head, hands clasped before her as if in prayer. As she did so, her wrist brushed against the cool metal of her necklace, the one he had made for her. "That's all I ever wanted."_

Colette opened her eyes, somber at the memory that filled her mind. Ever since she was a child, she had wanted to be near this boy in red, selfish though it was. Even now, arms clasped around his stomach as their Rheiard soared through the sky, she still wanted that so much that it ached in her chest. She buried her face in his back, the scent of pine enveloping her. The white strips that extended from his collar whipped around her head from their flight, sometimes getting caught in her hair.

She felt him shift, turning to look behind him. "You've been quiet," he remarked, the wind carrying his voice easily to her.

Colette raised her head to give a teasing smile. "I'm just a little tired, that's all."

She adored his small blush, and his own embarrassed grin. "I didn't mean to keep you up for that long."

"I didn't mind," she told him truthfully, and pressed her cheek into his back again, delighting in his warmth up in the cold sky.

She almost wished that they didn't arrive as soon as they did. Even so, she couldn't help the happiness that lit inside her as she saw the great tree from up above. The years had been kind to it, the stress from Ratatosk and the Vanguard having gone away, leaving it to grow freely. Its branches now reached so high, as if it could easily pierce through the atmosphere to the dark space beyond their world. It now looked like a tree from Iselia's forests, though just slightly bigger and grander in its stature.

"Hold tight," Lloyd called out to her, raising his voice from the sudden bout of strong wind.

The Rheiard descended in a gentle arc, bringing them down in a slipstream of light and sound. Before she could count her breaths, they had already landed, the ground that was once covered over with rubble from the shattered Tower of Salvation, now taken over by vibrant greenery.

As they both got off, the vehicle still floating just an inch or so above the ground, it was the sudden quiet that they noticed. For a brief moment, the lack of sound reminded Colette of Flanoir, of how the snow blanketed all whispers and echoes, keeping it all intact. Though it wasn't entirely the same, there was an eerie similarity to it. No sounds of chattering birds or the rush of raccoons through the brush. Nothing but the wind that lightly touched the grove where the tree that bound both worlds and beyond was planted. The leaves rustled from the wind, bringing in a pleasantness that Colette was glad to experience.

Still… both kept shifting their gazes around the grove. Despite his role as guardian of the World Tree, Yuan was nowhere to be seen. There were occasions when he wouldn't be present, much to Lloyd's annoyance. This time, they had known in advance that Yuan might not be here, having stated to them before that he had 'personal matters' to attend to, whatever that meant.

But there was one who, for certain, would never leave the tree's presence. Lloyd edged to the right to see past the tree's circumference, and Colette shaded her eyes to see through the sunlight if she could catch the familiar face, or the shape of a recognizable staff, with wings of green extending from its top.

"Is Martel not here?" she asked aloud, barely able to believe her own words.

Lloyd scratched his head, looking completely dumbfounded. "Maybe she's sleeping?"

"Oh! I didn't know spirits needed to sleep like us."

"Uh, well, I don't know for sure…" He looked all around the area again, eyes shifting from the tree to behind him, in case the incarnated spirit of all those sacrificed souls decided to sneak up on them for some reason.

"Should we call out to her?" Colette suggested.

Lloyd looked relieved at her idea. "Yeah, we can try that!" He turned his head to the other end of the large grove. "I can go look for her over there, and you can keep looking here!"

"Okay!" As soon as she agreed, both went their ways, intent on their task on finding the summon spirit. Already she could hear Lloyd's tenor travel across the area, ("Martel! Heeey!") his voice extending as high up as the branches as he rushed off to the tree's other side.

She cupped her hands to her face and joined in enthusiastically. "Hellooo! Miss Martel!" She calmly went to the mound where the tree was planted, her boots crunching against fresh green stalks. She called out again and again, each time her voice getting a shade quieter. Soon she found herself just standing before the tree, only a few feet from its trunk that was now so wide it could engulf her and three other full grown people whole.

She was instantly brought back to that day, with Lloyd, with the seedling in the ground.

" _You must provide the tree with love and adoration. As long as those conditions are met, I shall always protect the seedling."_

" _I promise! If the tree starts to wither, I'll make sure we won't let it die!"_

The World Tree had grown to such grandiose heights since then, extending far above the ground, its boughs reaching outwards to the sunshine. Rays of light filtered through dark green leaves, falling against her in patterns across her shoulders. She had to crane her neck upwards to see past the trunk, to the patches of the sky that slipped through the gaps between twigs and foliage. When the wind blew, it made the tree whisper in hushed excitement, the leaves rustling from the coolness it brought. Despite the vibrancy of its existence, there was a calmness about this moment, this space she was standing from. The boughs were held over her, encasing a privacy that she had felt that first time she and Lloyd had met Martel. The tree before nearly matched what they had seen, on what a possible future could bring if conditions were met. Lloyd had done so, at the expense to his own self, to the ideals of honesty he had held. But even in those months where the shadows had to be his only company, he had kept going, keeping the tree thriving, living, existing.

Colette felt inadequate suddenly. Though she kept Martel's words to heart, was what she had done really been enough? The breeze lifted her hair, bringing in the scent of familiar pine and sap, the tree's soft whispers echoing in her ears. With it came Lloyd's footsteps, slightly quickened as he still searched for the spirit that should have been near.

Connected to the whole world, yet still it seemed to be a place of their own, all their own and the benevolence of the sky above. Now that she was here, she didn't seem to feel as nervous anymore.

"Lloyd?" she called out softly.

She heard him shift, boots crunching against the grass. "Yeah?"

She gestured him over with a hand, keeping her voice locked. Though confused, Lloyd walked over to her, stepping between the gaps of the giant roots that extended from the tree.

"What is it?"

The sunlight dappled across his face, highlighting skin that had been tanned for nearly a lifetime outdoors. The wind kept moving, tugging at his hair. There was still that inherent guilt in his eyes that sometimes made him quiet in their nights alone. Hiding away his secrets, though for Martel and for the world, had bore down on his shoulders, keeping his voice locked from ever reaching a word to her during those months.

She had never faulted him for that, could not. She only wanted to stay by his side, no matter what the future brought. It was the prayer she whispered for every night, the fondest wish that ever dared herself to have.

She took his hands in her own, her thumbs resting in the empty space of his palms. He looked down, wondering, until she leaned forward to kiss him. It echoed the softness of their first, but also the familiarity of all times after that. Lloyd followed with her in natural movements, gripping her hands back tightly. There was a shyness there, but she accepted that, as she accepted all of him.

She moved back from him, only to lean forward again, placing her mouth against his left ear. Her whispers matched those of the World Tree, free to speak in this privacy, this shared space that they had been able to create.

When she stepped away, Lloyd was staring, still holding onto her hands. His cheeks had a slight flush of red, nearly matching the shade of his jacket.

"Sorry," Colette said. "That all probably sounded lame."

Lloyd instantly shook his head. "No, no way. I just…" Looking back at their clasped hands, he leaned forward also, taking her actions to heart. His voice was low, his breath tickling her ear as he whispered back. Shy, small words that were for her, held together by the tree's presence above them.

Her chest constricted at their meaning; a wonderful, wringing feeling that made her want nothing else. She saw Lloyd step back slowly, his face even more red than before. "And sometimes…" he paused, trying to push past the nervousness, the guilt that still writhed in his head. "I love you so much that it hurts, you know?"

Unable to restrain herself, she reached out to him for an embrace. His arms encircled her as well, pressing as close as they did when up in the air, or when the hour was late, leaving them a space for their intimacy. "I know," she whispered, her head against his chest, hearing the rapid flutter of his heartbeat.

Later, they found themselves seated in the tree's shade, their backs resting against the expansive trunk. Whether it was due to their Exspheres, or their connection to the tree's purpose, there was a brief tingle of mana that they could feel pulsing from the ground, moving from the tree's gnarled roots to the fresh soil, to the river that ran off far to the west, to the cities and small villages, to and forests and plains, to the deserts and tundras. It was a warm pulse, and both were content to lay there, feeling life and warmth all around them.

Colette was curled up near Lloyd, her knees brought up so that she could be as close to him as possible. His arms were still around her, as if they had become a part of her body.

"Is this why you wanted to come here?" he asked her.

She idly ran her finger down his arm, tracing small patterns into his jacket, ranging from tiny words to little designs of her own making. "I was hoping it would help."

Lloyd's left hand ran through her hair, with the other resting in the middle of her back. "We should probably have a real wedding some day."

Colette nodded. "At least for everyone else." She winked at him. "So, Altamira still?"

Lloyd grinned wide at her, ruffling her hair to a frizzy mess. "Yeah, why not?" After their bout of giggles, he looked at her for a long while, a smile of pure content lifting his features. "Or maybe Palmacosta."

She gave him a brief kiss again, a small brush of their lips, barely touched, but still sent thrills through them both. "Yes," was all she could say before they both sank into each other's arms, eyes resting shut despite the earliness of the day.

From above, a figure stood high on the branches. The wind pulled back her hair, the color of vines and ivy, revealing her own smile at the two seated before the tree they had protected so well. The echo of their vows still thrived within Yggdrasil's shade, traveling up its boughs to reach its spirit, where she kept them guarded and sacred, until they were ready to reveal it to all the world.


End file.
